MEPX
Chapter 6 of 10All chapters
  1. 1The curse of knowledge
  2. 2Listening
  3. 3Being understood
  4. 4Choosing the channel
  5. 5Feedback
  6. 6Difficult conversations
  7. 7Meetings
  8. 8Remote and written
  9. 9Adapting to the audience
  10. 10Getting better

Chapter 6 of 10

Difficult conversations

When it matters most.

Preparation

Decide the outcome you want, the facts you are sure of, and what you might be wrong about. Going in without those three produces an argument rather than a conversation.

  • Separate the person from the problem.
  • State impact rather than motive: you cannot know why they did it.

During

Say the difficult thing early and plainly, then listen. Softening it until the message disappears is kinder in the moment and worse for everyone afterwards.