MEPX
Chapter 7 of 10All chapters
  1. 1Being understood
  2. 2Email and messages
  3. 3Tone in writing
  4. 4Conversations that decide things
  5. 5Listening
  6. 6Giving feedback
  7. 7Difficult conversations
  8. 8Communicating upward
  9. 9Remote and asynchronous work
  10. 10Working across differences

Chapter 7 of 10

Difficult conversations

Prepared, not scripted.

Preparation

Decide the one outcome you need, separate facts from your interpretation of them, and consider how the situation looks from their side.

  • Open with the issue, not a long preamble.
  • Stay on the specific case; never save up a list of grievances.

During

Expect emotion and let it pass rather than matching it. If it becomes unproductive, pause and reconvene; nothing is gained by finishing badly.